Episode 51 | Understanding and Managing Interruptions in Meetings

Have you ever found yourself constantly being interrupted in a meeting? Or like me, you go into the meeting with the intention of not interrupting others, but you end up doing it anyway? If either of those resonate with you, then this is a must-listen episode.

 

My name is Niamh Moynihan, and in this episode of The Better Workday Podcast, we are talking about how to interrupt less during meetings.

 

Hello, hello, and welcome back to The Better Workday Podcast. How are you doing?

 

Today, I'm discussing why we interrupt others, the different types of interruptions, and how to interrupt people less while finding that balance between interrupting less and speaking up when matters. And spoiler alert, there was a time when I was a chronic interrupter.

 

Let me step back and share why this topic is on my mind. I've had a few workshops recently where I shared the idea of internal and external thinkers, and I spoke about this briefly in episode 49 when discussing how to make time to think at work.

 

Here's a refresh in case you didn't get a chance to listen. Internal thinkers like to engage in quiet, reflective thought. They prefer to sort things out in their own heads before sharing their ideas or their feelings with others.

 

Whereas external thinkers like to think out loud, share their thoughts as they come up, and they use speech and conversation to clarify and organize what they're thinking. The more they speak, the more it makes sense to them.

 

Now, I'm an external thinker, and when I learned about those two styles, it was a real aha moment for me because for years before that, I felt I was too chatty in meetings because I spoke a lot.

 

And now, I can explain that part of my behavior was down to how I process or how I think about things. Even today, I find it better to talk things out, even in a voice note to myself.

 

So, my thinking style partially explained why I spoke up in meetings, but it wasn't the only reason, and so I'm gonna touch on a few more reasons why people interrupt other people today.

 

The most obvious one is a simple desire to be heard and to contribute. A lot of people interrupt because they want to share their thoughts or opinions immediately, and they're worried that they might forget them or that the opportunity to speak will be lost.

 

I see this a lot when people are trying to cram a lot of information or a lot of conversation into a short meeting, and the worry is, if you don't speak, then when will you get a chance?

 

Now, related to this are interruptions due to impatience or just a desire to move the conversation forward. So for example, if someone feels the conversation is taking too long or not moving in the direction they want, they might want to interrupt to try to address their concerns or just get to the point.

 

And again, I see this a lot when the amount of things to be covered in a meeting doesn't match the time allowed, so we're trying to jam 10 things into a one-hour-long meeting.

 

Or maybe one person wants to discuss the topic at a high level, and the other person wants to get into it. And here, I think we need to take a step back and ask, how are expectations around the meeting or the conversation being set?

 

Because if people have different expectations around what's going to be covered but also the level of detail, then we're going to have problems. Now, personally,

 

I can be impatient in a conversation when I'm tired or stressed. I just kind of want to get to the end, so I think it's really important to consider your own energy levels and the energy levels of the room as well.

 

The third reason why you might interrupt could just be feeling passionate about the topic, so strong emotions or a high level of interest for the topic can lead you to interrupting. You might see this with someone who's been managing a project really closely and they've put an awful lot of work into it.

 

If someone else is talking about their project, they might feel compelled to jump in and express their feelings or their opinions. For me, I used to spend a lot of time working in different types of operational roles where I'd implement new processes, new systems, new tools, and so I became very attached to those because a lot of work went into them.

 

And so, if other people were talking about those processes or systems or tools, then I would feel compelled to, to join in. Now, of course, some people might just be interrupting to gain attention or to make themselves the focus of conversation, especially if they're not being heard or noticed. And funny enough, well, it's not funny at all really,

 

I did a bit of this. I did it when I came back from maternity leave after my first child because I thought I was forgotten. I didn't think I was being seen at work anymore. I didn't think I was important anymore.

 

I didn't think my seat at the table even mattered. And so even though prior to going on maternity leave, I had got a handle on interrupting people, I found myself doing it again when I came back, and it's because I simply wanted to be seen.

 

So, a side note on this: If you are a manager and one of your team is interrupting someone a lot, you know, there's a few different reasons why it might be happening. Please pay attention to who's interrupting and maybe have a conversation with them to understand the why behind it and if there's anything you can do to support people.

 

And of course, then some people interrupt just because they're excited about what you're saying, because they can't wait until the end of your statement to contribute, and their excitement basically spills over and leads them to interrupt you mid-sentence.

 

And again, I can get very excited about things, from spreadsheets to new personal development books and everything in between, and so I'm definitely one of those kind of interrupters.

 

I'm going to finish with one more, which I think a lot of people have been on the receiving end, and that's when people interrupt to assert dominance or control. And so when someone does this, they want to take control of the conversation or move us away from this topic to something they want to talk about, or they just want to make sure that they are the focus, and this can make other people feel unheard or invalid.

 

Honestly, I think sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between when someone is interrupting because it might be their processing style, their thinking style, their own emotions or feelings about themselves versus someone who's interrupting to assert dominance.

 

So again, I just think a conversation should be had to understand the why behind it.Now, there are a couple of different ways that people interrupt depending on that underlying reason, and not all interruptions are created equal, and they don't all have the same impact. So interruptions can either be supportive or disruptive.

 

A supportive interruption might aim to clarify or build on the speaker's point, and there are good intentions here. Again, you could be very excited about the topic, or you could be very strongly involved, or you know you just wanna make sure that your good ideas get included in this good conversation.

 

And you might interrupt the person while they're talking, but it more often happens during that brief pause where the person just took a breath and wanted to continue, but before they could, mm, someone has interrupted them.

 

And then we have those disruptive conversations, or those disruptive interruptions, which are the change of topic, the taking control of conversation, and honestly just a general disregard for the speaker.

 

And again, this can either happen while the person is mid-sentence or in that pause. So again, if you notice someone is interrupting a lot, it's worthwhile to pay attention as to whether it looks like a supportive interruption or a disruptive interruption, and then you can have a better conversation around what's driving that.

 

And finally, I must mention self-interruptions . So these are self-interruptions, interruptions initiated by the speaker themselves. It could be a change of topic or a sudden realization that they need to say something else, and this is definitely something I can put my hand up and say I did a lot of early in my career, probably down to bad preparation and too much inside my head in terms of the work I wanted to get done and the things I wanted to say.

 

And perhaps I cover that in a future episode. If you are interested, let me know in the comments if you're watching on YouTube, or send me a message on LinkedIn or by email. Whatever suits you. I'd love to hear from you.

 

Now, going back to the different types of interruptions, for me, I think I was most often the chiming in kind of interrupter. I just couldn't wait to add to the idea being discussed, even if I wasn't always being asked for input, that's down to my personality, how I think, and the work I was doing.

 

and I didn't think I was doing anything wrong at the time, but I did get feedback in one of my roles that some other people in senior positions thought it was disrespectful. And honestly, on reflection, they were right.

 

Because when you interrupt, it can make the person feel like their thoughts and ideas aren't valued or respected, and might make them feel that their ideas are even being dismissed.

 

And honestly, if it happens a lot, the person might be offended and this might result in resentment. And even from a cognitive perspective, when you interrupt someone, it's going to cause them to lose their train of thought.

 

So it's going to disrupt their flow, make it harder for them to remember what they were saying, and that's not nice. And some people struggle to regain momentum and to re-immerse themselves fully in that conversation after being interrupted, and that's to them not fair or to the other people in the room, because the result is the conversation itself is damaged.

 

Not only will the flow in conversation be dropped. There might be an imbalance of power in the conversation, and people might miss out on potentially valuable information because the speaker was about to share it, and then they got interrupted and they can't.

 

So, what can you do if you want to interrupt people less? I bought a little notebook. I bought a small little notebook and I brought it with me to meetings, and when I had an idea,

 

I'd write it down. And that's how I started. Now, some people probably thought I was taking great notes about the meeting, whereas in reality, it was a running list of all the thoughts going on in my head.

 

But it worked. Some of the other things you could do is try to be present in the conversation and listen to understand what's being said instead of trying to prep your input in parallel to the other person speaking.

 

I think so often we're in a rush to respond or have good input or a great answer that we don't fully listen to the conversations that are happening. So pay attention to the speaker, and also pay attention to other people in the room.

 

And another thing I just do is I just simply count to five on my hand before I interrupt people, and quite often

 

, that's the barrier I need to think twice before I interrupt. And finally, an old school trick is to ask people to raise their hand if they have something to say. If you're the meeting organizer or before you start your presentation, you can simply ask people to hold their thoughts, raise their hand, and then the speaker can decide when the time is right to take.

 

Now, for me, the notebook strategy really, really helped. But sometimes then I paused for too long and I didn't add input where I should have. So look, while respecting turn-taking is important, a complete lack of interruption at work can lead to missed opportunities for clarification, feedback, collaboration.

 

So like all things, I think it's balance, and I find that pausing between the moment the idea comes into your head and when it comes out your mouth is a pretty good place to start. Ask yourself, "Is now the right time to say this? Is now the right place to say this?" And then make a decision.

 

And I think that pause can make a massive difference and ensure your interruptions are considered, intentional, and they add value to the meeting and to the conversation.

 

Now, if you want to continue learning about how to improve your meetings, you can check out episode 46 where I discuss what makes a meeting meaningful. Well, that's it for me for today. We've discovered a lot and I would love to hear your feedback, as

 

I said, either in the comments or drop me a message. Do you interrupt people? Is there something you're going to try differently as a result of this episode? Please let me know. Share this with a friend or colleague who you think might benefit, and until next time, stay well and have a better work day.