How to Manage Up and Build a Better Relationship with Your Manager

One of the most important relationships you have in work is with your manager. How you work with your manager can make a big difference in your working day and your long-term job satisfaction.

 

Niamh, what is managing up and how can we use it to build a good relationship with our manager? Hello, hello, and welcome back to The Better Workday Podcast. How are you doing?

 

Last week, I spoke about how to say no at work. And this week, I want to talk about a topic which I think is related, and that is how to manage up and build a better relationship with your manager.

 

There's so many reasons why we want to do this. But what I know is that whether you're working under an experienced leader or a first-time manager, how you manage your relationship with your boss can support your career, it can impact your job satisfaction, and even your day-to-day work experience. Just like getting their support when you need to say no at work, for example.

 

Now, before I get started, I want to clear up what managing up is and what it's not. Managing up is not about manipulating her boss, going over their head, trying to change who they are, okay?

 

It's about understanding their goals, their work style, and their challenges, so you can work better together. I've had many different types of manager and leader over the years. And some were great, some honestly weren't the best and gave me pretty bad work habits, but there was a lot of really good ones. And

 

I remember I was so used to, at one stage in my career, being micromanaged and having leaders who wanted to know everything that I didn't know how to manage up when I had a leader who wasn't into micromanagement.

 

So this person, we were in the tech sector, and he was very, very busy and he didn't need a lot of detail from me because I was in a senior role and he trusted what I was doing. Now, that was just my mind is blown, in this concept, but that's the way it was.

 

And it was very different from previous managers. And I had been frustrated trying to send, you know, detailed spreadsheets of what I was doing, and catching up with him twice a week and trying to get responses for every single question I had or every decision I needed to make.

 

When I realized that his communication style, his preference for working with his team was very different, and what he was working on or his goals were,

 

I changed it. And we switched to, uh, having a one-to-one for extended time, I think it was 90 minutes, once a month. We got clear on what I was responsible for, the decisions I could make without him, and all that.

 

And it was so much better. And it meant that when I needed him, I could then reach out in between those one-to-ones, and it wasn't lost in the noise. And so today, I would really like to share some ideas with you so you can learn, I suppose, first of all, again, what managing up is and isn't, and then how you can align your work and communication style with your manager's, and then a few practical strategies, you know I love practical strategies, to improve h- how you work with your manager, to improve that working relationship.

 

First of all, what exactly does managing up mean? Simply put, it's the ability to work well with your manager by adapting to their style, anticipating their needs, and building a really good professional relationship.

 

And look, when it's done effectively, it makes your job and their job so much easier. I want to say just at this point that I know a huge amount of managers that feel really caught in the middle, because they're trying to manage a team of, let's say, seven to ten, and that's a good number, it's often more than that.

 

They have their own work that they have to deliver as well, so they still keep some individual contributor type of responsibilities, and they're trying to manage the leaders and their other stakeholders.

 

So there's a lot. And if you can manage up effectively, it takes a huge amount of pressure off them which allows them to then be more available to support you.

 

So let's break down how to proactively manage up without micromanaging your manager. Number one, understand their work and communication style.

 

Simple things like are they introverted or extroverted? Do they prefer to focus on tasks or are they more relationship-orientated? Do they prefer detailed reports or quick summaries?

 

Do they like frequent updates or monthly check-ins? The best way to understand your manager's work and communication style is to ask them. Okay?

 

Grab 10, 15 minutes in- in your next one-to-one and ask these questions, simply by saying, "I want to work better with you, and I'd just love to know this about you, because

 

I don't know for sure." You'd be amazed at what you learn if you just ask. Number two, of course, is to keep your manager informed.

 

If you can proactively update them on different projects or flag potential delays or issues early and keep updates clear, it makes a big difference.

 

I have so many examples of trying to fix things myself, I couldn't list them all on a podcast. But what I found is when you're able to keep your manager informed, they know better where they can support you or how they can support you.

 

I use the My Desk template for this. I'll put a link to download it in the show notes. It's my go-to template for managing your own week, but also for m- managing up.

 

And it allows you to communicate clearly in terms of different projects and risks without going into too much detail.

 

And number three are to adapt to their priorities and pressures, because they're responding to the level above, and so their priorities are really the team's priorities. So understand what your manager's key goals are and how your goals link to theirs, and then make sure that you're aligning your work with their top priorities.

 

If you find that the work they're giving you contradicts their key goals, that's a good time to stop and ask questions about why you seem to be doing something that's going in a different direction to them.

 

Of course, when you understand what their priorities are, you can offer support when they're overwhelmed. So, for example, really practically, if you notice your manager is blocked with meetings on Mondays, you could suggest moving a one-to-one to a Wednesday or a Friday.

 

Small things like that take the pressure off your manager, which allow them to then be more present with you. For example, in that one-to-one.

 

And the final one for me is to be solutions-oriented. Where you see a problem, try to suggest a solution, and step up when you have the capacity.

 

I know you won't always have space in your working week, but there will be times perhaps when you do. And not only are you building that relationship, you're also possibly learning new skills, getting more visibility in your organization, and you'd never know where that might lead.

 

Again, go back to How to Say No at Work to make sure you're not overdoing that. You know, when it comes to solutions, sometimes it could be a small thing. So for example, the My Desk template I mentioned earlier,

 

I created that to manage one-to-ones with my manager, who was extremely busy, needed to know what I was doing, but didn't have the time to go through everything.

 

And so the solution was a spreadsheet, but it was really effective. It helped both of us, and that's what I mean by being solutions-oriented. You don't have to fix all the problems, but just address things where you can.

 

So let's recap just to round things up a little bit. So first of all, managing up is about building a good relationship with your manager. It's not about micromanaging them. We don't like micromanagement in any direction.

 

And when you understand how they work and how they communicate, it helps you work better together. Okay? You're not becoming a mini-manager, but you're just understanding how you can complement each other and make small tweaks in how you communicate and how you work together.

 

And when you take initiative and be proactive, it strengthens the trust and respect so that you're maybe given more opportunity to develop or grow, which is brilliant.

 

If managing up is a skill you want to develop, I suggest that you identify one area this week where you can better align with your manager's style, whether it's communication, their priorities, or how you update them on your workload, and just implement one small change and see if it improves your interactions.

 

Of course, I'd love to hear how it works for you. So as always, you can send me an email, my details are in the show notes, or you can connect with me on LinkedIn.

 

And until next time, stay well and have a better workday. Thank you for tuning in. We hope you enjoyed this episode. The Better Workday Podcast is about helping you have a better workday, so we'd love to hear your thoughts and questions.

 

You can find our social media details as well as any references from this episode in the show notes.