Episode 65 | The Secret to Better Collaboration is Learning to Disagree

Episode Introduction

In this episode, Niamh explains why the ability to disagree well is the missing ingredient for effective collaboration. She covers how the fear of speaking up or making a mistake holds teams back and shares practical steps you can take to build a culture of honest conversation.

Episode Timestamps

00:00 Understanding Psychological Safety at Work
03:03 The Importance of Honest Conversations
06:03 Barriers to Psychological Safety
10:08 Encouraging Open Dialogue in Teams

Episode Summary

Why Disagreeing Well is Essential for Collaboration

Niamh explains that true collaboration requires more than just good communication; it needs the confidence that you won't be penalised or embarrassed if you voice a concern, share an idea, or admit to a mistake. Niamh shares an experience with a senior leadership team where members felt they couldn't always challenge or point out errors due to concerns about how it might be received. Without the ability to have these honest conversations, work slows down, and collaboration becomes impossible. She argues that the ability to disagree is woven into the very fabric of the workday, showing up in small moments like admitting a tiny error or saying, "I don't think that's a good idea," without stress or anxiety.

The Simple Way to Master Honest Dialogue

The key to mastering productive disagreement is a simple balance: "care personally and challenge directly." This balance is vital; challenging without caring creates a culture of fear, while caring without challenging leads to avoidance—a behaviour Niamh sees a lot. This avoidance often causes people to spend huge amounts of time and energy creating workarounds or working longer hours rather than simply having the necessary honest discussion.

Barriers to this honest dialogue include rigid hierarchical structures, where challenging a boss can feel incredibly risky, and past negative experiences where a challenge or mistake admission wasn't received well. Niamh encourages listeners to set the example by starting with small steps, such as admitting a minor error or intentionally asking, "Who sees this differently than I do?" or "Please poke holes in this idea."

• True collaboration relies on the confidence that you can disagree or challenge without fear of punishment.
• Conflict avoidance is costly, resulting in wasted time on unnecessary workarounds and increased hours.
• The framework’ care personally, challenge directly' helps you balance kindness with necessary honesty.
• Negative past experiences or hierarchical structures can act as major barriers to honest dialogue.
• You can set the standard by inviting disagreement and admitting small mistakes yourself.

5 Key Takeaways from the Episode

• Honest Disagreement is the Foundation: The real secret to collaboration is the ability to easily offer a different opinion or admit small errors in your day-to-day work without anxiety.
• Find the Balance: Use the simple 'care personally and challenge directly' rule to build trust and ensure difficult but necessary conversations take place.
• Conflict Avoidance is Costly: Trying to keep the peace by avoiding issues often means wasting energy on complex workarounds instead of a quick, frank discussion.
• Leaders Set the Tone: Organisations, and especially managers, must look at their culture and remove the fear people feel when they want to challenge a proposal or admit to a mistake.
• Be the Example: Regardless of your role, start building a culture of trust by admitting tiny mistakes and intentionally asking others to challenge your ideas or share different perspectives.

Resources and Related Episodes

'Radical Candor' by Kim Scott

'The Fearless Organization' by Amy C. Edmondson.

About the Host and Podcast

Welcome to The Better Workday Podcast with your host, Niamh Moynihan. Niamh is the founder of Better Workday. She will challenge you to think differently about how you manage your time, energy, attention and relationships at work to be successful while supporting your well-being.

In each episode, Niamh shares new insights and practical ideas to help you create a better workday.

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