In this episode, Niamh addresses a common struggle: saying no at work. She explains why we fear saying no, what happens when we always say yes, and provides practical steps to decline requests confidently without damaging your career or relationships.
Many people believe that always saying yes is a sign of being a good employee, but as Niamh explains, it's a one-way ticket to burnout and underperformance. Early in her career, Niamh always said yes to prove herself, which led to working evenings and weekends. The quality of her work suffered because she was tired and overworked, leading to mistakes she wouldn't have made otherwise. Consistently saying yes trains people to expect you to say yes, creating a cycle of over-commitment. This can lead to you being seen as overwhelmed or unreliable instead of dependable. The most significant downside is the loss of control over your own priorities, as you're constantly saying yes to other people's needs while your own work suffers. Niamh shares a personal story about a time she said yes to a meeting despite having a prenatal scan, which resulted in so much stress that she was signed off sick. This taught her that the real risk of not saying no is compromising your well-being.
Niamh believes that a well-placed, strategic "no" is always better than a "yes" that you will resent or regret. The problem isn't saying no, but how we say it. She provides several strategies to say no without harming relationships. First, always pause before responding to avoid a knee-jerk "yes". Use phrases like, "Let me check my workload and get back to you" to give yourself time to assess the request. Next, reframe the opportunity; if the request is a chance for growth, it may be worth accepting. If you do need to say no, be direct and honest, giving a little context about your workload to help the other person understand. You can also offer an alternative by suggesting a different way you can help.
"No" is Not Selfish: Saying no is often necessary to protect your workload and well-being, ensuring you can deliver high-quality work without compromising your health.
Practice Builds Confidence: Practice saying no in various ways—in writing, on the phone, or with a trusted colleague—to build the confidence to set boundaries.
Retrain Expectations: If you've always been the "go-to person," you'll need to slowly retrain others to respect your boundaries by consistently saying no.
Escalate When Necessary: If someone pushes back on your "no," it's a sign you may need to escalate the issue to your manager for support or a different perspective.
A Strategic "No" is Better Than a Resentful "Yes": A well-placed "no" is better for your career and well-being than over-committing with a "yes" that leads to stress and underperformance.
Declining requests is easier in person, where tone and body language help soften the message. In remote work, where most requests come through email or chat, wording becomes even more important.
Tips for Handling Requests in Writing:
Try This Email Template:
Hi [Name],
Thanks for reaching out. I want to make sure I can give this the time it needs. Right now, I have [current priorities], and taking this on fully might impact those deadlines.
Would it be possible to extend the timeline, or is there another way I can contribute without fully taking it on?
Let me know how you’d like to proceed.
Practising these responses in advance will help you feel more confident when managing requests.
Welcome to The Better Workday Podcast with your host, Niamh Moynihan. Niamh is the founder of Better Workday. She will challenge you to think differently about how you manage your time, energy, attention and relationships at work to be successful while supporting your well-being.
In each episode Niamh shares new insights and practical ideas to help you create a better workday.
If you found this episode helpful, please share it with a friend or colleague who might also benefit from these tips. If you would like to support the podcast, please subscribe and leave a rating or review.
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